It was a few days after the funeral. I was standing in the bathroom
and it hit me that Joshua was really gone. It hit me hard. I fell to my
knees on the bathroom floor and cried. I cried out to God and said, "Please,
I need to hear, 'I love you Mom' today. I don't care how. I don't care if I
hit my head and hallucinate it, or go into a coma, or hear it in a dream. I
just need to hear it today. Please, please, please let me hear 'I love you
Mom' today!"
I didn't tell anyone. This was just between me and God.
Sometime that afternoon, my sister called me. She said that my
nephew, Jarod, had been working on something all day and asked if we would
come over, he wanted to share something with us. She wasn't sure what he had
been working on. She said he got up early that morning and took his computer
in to be repaired. (It had been broken for a while). Jarod was born a day
before Joshua. They were always close. They were like brothers.
Jarod wrote a song for us and burned it on a cd. He played the cd
for us. He was singing as Joshua. Joshua didn't have a chance to say goodbye
to us. Jarod did it for him in this song. The chorus of the song included
"I love you mom, I love you dad". It was an answer to my prayer. Now, I can
hear 'I love you mom' anytime I want to. Thank you God and Thank you
Jarod!!!